There is a precise moment in every woman's life in which, to the long list of insecurities that society places on her shoulders, a new, unpublished, secret and therefore even more powerful one is added: the one related to the appearance of her intimate area. As if we didn't already have enough to say about our body, our face, our hair, at a certain point even our private parts seem to scream to the world how profoundly different we should be from how we are.
In trying to understand this phenomenon, we cannot help but think of the world of pornography. Since the representation of female genitalia in traditional media is almost non-existent, often the first comparison with other people's bodies - and the resulting stereotypes of perfection - occurs precisely through porn. Here, vaginas are represented according to a unique model: smooth skin, uniform color, perfectly symmetrical anatomy, no hair (let alone redness and folliculitis) ... In short, an aesthetic ideal that has very little to do with natural variety and diversity, but which ends up profoundly influencing our perception of ourselves.
It must be said that when we talk about insecurities related to the appearance of our V-zone, we are actually referring above all to the appearance of the vaginal lips, a part of the body of fundamental importance and naturally different from woman to woman. According to a study by Healthline, there are eight common labia shapes, ranging from long, pendulous inner lips to shorter, symmetrical ones, from asymmetrical to prominent. In other words, there is no “right type.” Yet in mainstream porn, we tend to see the same body type over and over again, which doesn’t reflect the richness and variety of what’s truly common among all of us. It’s no surprise, then, that labiaplasty—a procedure that modifies the labia to make them smaller, smoother, and more symmetrical—is one of the fastest-growing cosmetic surgeries.
We find ourselves growing up with a renewed insecurity that pushes us to live with performance anxiety, to ask our partners to turn off the light, to justify ourselves before having sex, saying that our vulva is a little strange, apologizing for something that in reality is completely normal. A complicated scenario, without a doubt.
But the good news is that the future seems to bring with it a wind of change. In recent years, there has been a growing awareness and openness on the topic of female beauty and the representation of bodies. If pornography is a part of our lives, we can still explore more inclusive and ethical alternatives: productions that represent a much wider variety of bodies, genders and sexualities, offering a healthier and more authentic vision of beauty. A great help to strengthen our self-esteem, make us feel valued and remind us that there are no wrong bodies, especially in sex.
Furthermore, more and more women are rediscovering the power of loving themselves for who they are, rather than trying to resemble a stereotype. This revolution also passes through dialogue, the creation of online communities and brands like Kysh Cosmetics, which promote an idea of inclusive beauty, celebrating diversity and self-care as tools to improve our relationship with ourselves.
Today, like every day, we want to remind every woman that beauty is not something that is imposed on us from the outside, but a path that starts from respect for our body and its peculiarities.Rather than chasing an unrealistic ideal, we must celebrate our body in its entirety, taking care of it with love and awareness. And why not, even with the right products, naturally respectful of its delicacy. Because every woman is precious and unique, and true happiness comes from the ability to embrace ourselves, just as we are.
